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Three things we're talking about in Parent-land this week

Updated: Sep 24, 2020

Every Monday we're going to taking a look at the global world of parenting. We will be looking at new books, research, and stories that can help us grown as individuals who happen to raising children (along with lots of other fun tasks and challenges) Our goal is to provide you with a snapshot curation of what's happening in the messiest sport around, the life and times of people who live in 'Parent-land'. And please know that by 'parent' we include guardians, grandparents, uncles, aunts, godparents and anyone else who regularly steps up to the plate for a child.

1 The app that calms tantrums

What if your magic little smart phone got really smart and was able to fix your parenting problems with one flick of a digit? Well, we may well be on that road as a new kids' app is launched which claims to use science to calm tantrums and inspire a nicer way to play.The app raised $11 million before it even launched from Josh Kushner, Will Smith, Lego and others, we know there's a big market for practical parenting help as opposed to just advice, so the only question is, where do we sign up?

"This new kids' app uses science to calm tantrums, inspire nice play and raised $11 million before it launched from Biz Stone, Ev Williams Josh Kushner, Will Smith, Lego and others.

Julie Bort, Business Insider

A lot of apps don't invite the parents into the experience," says Johnson. "When we think about apps, it's handing the device off the child and they go off by themselves. And that's certainly a use case. I'm a parent myself. I know how exhausting parenting is, especially this year."

But with OK Play, when Johnson's preschooler gets tantrum-level angry, Johnson plays "angry parade" which lets her child express her anger through dancing and movement. Then they move onto "the angry song" which lets her record a track of "angry sounds" which turns "hilarious," she says. They can also use the app to do a calming breathing exercise where blowing into the end grows a balloon".

Read more Business insider

2 Perfectionist Parenting

With another study published last week showing the UK's children trailing near the bottom of the wellbeing chart (27th out of 41 high income families), there was never a better time to take a moment to read about perfectionist parenting, and remind ourselves of our most fundamental hopes and dreams for our children when they are born, for them to be happy. Somewhere along the school, skills, careers and rules it's easy for that truth to get lost, and that's why we all still like to, and can benefit from time to time, from posts like this one on CNN Health last week.

"It's time to give up perfectionist parenting — forever.

Here's how

Elissa Strauss, CNN Health

With the pandemic upending ingrained routines, perfectionists have an opportunity to reset their ways and build a healthier parent-child relationship.

Before the pandemic, many of us found ourselves doing a little more parenting than we knew we ought to be doing. Maybe we weren't full-on "helicopters" or "snow plows," and, no, we would never have done something illegal to try to ensure our kids' success.

Still, many of our parenting decisions — especially those of us privileged enough to be making lots of choices about our children's lives — were informed by more "shoulds" than "coulds." The diagnosis? Never-enough-itis. The symptoms? Busyness, guilt and deluding ourselves into thinking we could pull this off. Our kids, the magical thinking went, would be wildly successful, self-motivated and down-to-earth, and we parents would remain balanced and happy. Rising income inequality, a lack of community and the increasingly winner-takes-all atmosphere in which we live didn't help. But now, the chaos and suffering brought on by Covid-19 have laid bare just how impossible our parenting standards are. It has never been clearer how much is expected of parents, mostly moms, with little support from our workplaces and public institutions. Contrary to popular belief, moms are also subject to the time constraints created by the rotation of the planet. We too, only have 24 hours in a day. Then there is the impact on our kids, our poor kids, who saw what little agency they had over their time and life choices go down the drain. Our children don't need us pushing them to be shinier, more brag-worthy versions of themselves in this moment.

Two new books consider what perfectionist parenting does to the human brain, and what a relaxed, more compassionate parenting can look like for parents and kids. While both titles were written pre-Covid, their messages about privileging connection over perfection are more urgent than ever".

Read more CNN Health

3 The boy who went over the waterfall

When David, one of our writers, emailed this post to us you could hear a pin drop in our respective 'home offices'. It's the kind of unholy nightmare you can only imagine in the nastiest of Hollywood horror films, just reading the words "my son disappeared over the edge" was enough to grip us in an heavily iced fist of hyper anxiety. But this true story is about so much more than the awful accident, and it's in that spirit that we're sharing it today.

Warning: your eyes may leak.

"A Stranger Helped My Family at Our Darkest Moment

Rachel Martin, The Atlantic

"I don’t know how to say it except to say it. It sounds like something from a movie, or like the paranoid nightmare of an overprotective parent—but it is what happened. I saw my 8-year-old son go over a waterfall.

At this point, before I tell you more, I need to tell you that he’s fine. Because when I tell this story, I can see people’s faces contort as they conjure up horrible outcomes. After all, falling off a waterfall seems like a thing you wouldn’t walk away from unscathed—like a thing you might not even survive. But it wasn’t a huge fall.

It was the middle of August. We were on vacation. We had canceled our plans to fly to Wyoming, because of the pandemic, and instead drove from our home in Washington, D.C., to New Hampshire. We wouldn’t see friends or family—it would be just me, my husband, and our two kids. A nice, safe, socially distant week away. Both where we sat and down below, the water cascaded and fell into small pools, where kids in swimsuits were splashing around. I watched as some younger parents nervously corralled their toddlers away from the rocks’ edges, feeling grateful that my husband and I were out of that stage—that our kids, at 6 and 8, could navigate their physical space with more confidence. Don’t get me wrong, I was still terrified as I saw my two boys jump between the slippery rocks. “No running,” I said again and again. “Stay away from all those edges.”

But I soon relaxed and we were all having fun, splashing in the pools, my kids laughing big belly laughs as my husband dunked his head under the cold running water. The stress of the previous few months seemed to melt away. And there had been plenty. It’s 2020 after all—no one has been untouched by pain, grief, or anxiety. But seconds after I reached that place of contentment, every fear I’d ever had rose to the surface. I turned around and saw my son Wyatt sitting down between two boulders in a fast-moving stream of water. I yelled at him to get out. He yelled back something that I couldn’t hear, and then he disappeared over the edge".

read more The Atlantic

read on...

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